Friday, September 12, 2014

Being a Mom-Me

It's the honest truth, motherhood is a hard job.  It's also a very rewarding job.  With that said, I want to share a bit about my experience, so far, with being a mother. 

I constantly feel like I give, give, give all day long.  You get up in the morning to your sweet little kids who are hungry, so you feed them.  Then they need to get dressed, so you strip them down and then clothe them again.  Then come the daily chores and tasks.  You do the laundry, clean the kitchen after breakfast, make the bed, all the while still entertaining the little ones.  Before you know it, it's lunch time!  Off you go to the kitchen to make lunch.  Then you clean it all up a bit later and then nap time.  And instead of sitting down, sipping some Diet Coke and watching Grey's Anatomy, you pick up the toys, dust the furniture, clean the bathroom, and tidy up the house just in time for the kids to wake up and it starts all over again.  Here's what I'm getting at...where's the ME time? 

After I had my first child, my life felt a bit like that.  I was exhausted constantly.  I never got ready for the day until a few minutes before my husband got home.  My house was always clean but I was always a wreck.  It wasn't until I had my second baby that I finally realized things had to change.  I was doing everything for my kids that I never made time for myself.  I came last in taking care of everyone and everything else.  Well, I'm here to tell you that it's possible to be a great mom and still be a great YOU!!! 

I was having a bad day.  You know the days when the kids are misbehaving, you have a headache, the house is a mess, and well so are you.  When nap time hit I gave up.  I'm pretty sure I even texted my husband that I was done.  I had thrown in the towel.  I was bitter towards my kids and I was every way!  So I sat on my bed in tears and scrolled through Instagram.  Ha...I know pathetic.  But, I came across some wonderful people's feeds that day that really changed my perspective. 

Alison Faulkner (@thealisonshow) is a hoot.  She is through and through 100% herself, and I admire that.  In a day when everyone is comparing themselves to the person next to them or to a complete stranger on social media, she's been able to keep it real.  It's so refreshing to see someone embrace their uniqueness for everyone to see. And it wasn't until I came across her feed that I realized that I had truly lost who I was.  I used to be silly, fun, outgoing, and project oriented and I had turned into a hermit crab!  Why had I let myself go?  Oh yeah, I remember, I thought that because I was a mom...that was who I was.  I was now depicted as the unfashionable, 'stay-at-home-mom', who makes paper crafts all day and never puts on makeup.  Well, that wasn't me.  Don't get me wrong...I like to think that I'm pretty domestic, but did I really want that to completely define me?  Did I want people to introduce me as, 'This is Allie, she's boring as hell' NO!!!!  So, I got with it!  It's not like I changed overnight, but I did make a conciouse effort to get ready, put on makeup, make plans with my girlfriends, and take time for myself.

Then I came across Meg Conley (@meg_in_progress)!  Seriously, she needs to write a book.  Her words paint pictures.  But anyway, as I scrolled through her feed I noticed something.  She's honest about motherhood.  She's not sugar coating anything.  She'll tell you when it's been a hard day as a mom, and she'll tell you when it's been a joyous day.  We need more people like that.  More people who are okay with saying that kids throw tantrums, but then give kisses after and that's it's not out of the norm to want to hide in your bathroom and eat ice cream.  We've all been there...amiright?  She's and inspiration to me to not be afraid to be honest with others and with myself.  I'm doing a good job as a mom!  My kids are alive, thye love me, and most of the time they are happy happy happy! 

Lastly, Haley Kjar (@haleykjar).  This girl knows how to take some amazing pictures.  It also helps that her kids are adorable, but her feed is about her family.  I sat on my bed with tears running down my cheeks looking at her perspective on motherhood.  She's got a gift of seeing the GOOD in being a mother.  Because of her outlook, I find myself more often than not, looking at moments with my kids differently.  I more easily can see how they're feeling.  I try and pick out the special moments with them I know I'll never have again.  I recognize more that they are growing up, and before I know it they'll be married and have their own little ones. 

These three ladies, and many others, have helped me to realize something...I can balance it all.  There's a way to still be yourself and be a great mom.  By loving who I am I can more easily love my little ones.  I love the quote, 'Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids'.  It sounds selfish to say that we must first take care of ourselves but when you really think about it if we fade away, if we are unhappy and don't love who we are, how on Earth are we supposed to love those little ones who are a piece of us?   I can tell you that since taking more time for myself I put more effort into my kids.  I take more time to snuggle and kiss them, and I enjoy their company so much more.

All in all, I LOVE being a mother!  Sometimes it takes time to find peace and patients in the chaos that's brought on by the gift of motherhood, but it's just's a gift.  I feel so thankful to wonderful ladies who share their honesty, pictures inside their daily lives, and their thoughts and words on motherhood.  You may not feel like you're making a difference, but trust me you are.  I'm working everyday to find balance in being a great mother and being a great me.

1 comment:

Carolina L. said...

I found your blog through Haley Kjar and so happy I did because I just needed to read this post about motherhood. I am a first time mom and yes I find myself being in my pjs all day long sometimes how depressing is that? but I have decided to take care of myself better so I can feel happier and more comfortable in my own skin. Time flies and it is so easy to get caught up in the ongoing list of being a mom but it is the best one.I loved your post so THANK YOU :)