Thursday, March 15, 2012

My Struggle

As many of you know I struggle to get prego.  It usually takes about a year of planned intercourse, medication, and daily temperature tracking.  Not to mention the daily hell I put myself through of over analysing every symptom and every twinge.  So, here we are at month 10 of trying and I'm starting to lose my mind.  Why do we put ourselves through this hell for a tiny human?  I think back to when we were trying to conceive Remee.  I don't remember being this anxious and crazy and down.  I remember reading the words 'positive' on my pee strip and thinking 'We'll see', and 'let's hope for the best'.  Now if I saw those words I think I would jump for joy, start to hysterically cry, and maybe pass out.    I know I should just trust in the Lord that he knows when the right time is and that he will bless me when he sees fit, but it's hard to think that when I hear everyday about some kid in high school getting knocked up.  What I need right now is super sperm and an implanted egg.  That's all I that too much to ask for?


Kat said...

Thinking of you, always.

Sarah said...

when i was having a hard time, you reminded me your bishop said the Lord doesn't give us trials to see if we can handle them, but to see how we do. that helped me a lot. i'm sorry that it's hard. no way around that fact. :( hang in there.

Leesa H said...

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
In other words, don't try to figure it out! Just trust Him! Read about Hannah and Sarah and other women in the Bible who waited on the Lord. They were faithful and obedient and were blessed! I trust that He will bless you! Love, Mom